A Gloomy Day

Today was a rough day.  Waves of nausea and aches, maybe due to the rainy weather, I'm not sure, kept me from accomplishing anything.  And now, I'll probably be up most of the night but at least the nausea is gone.

I can't keep my hands and feet warm today either.  I have my heating pad, but there only so much you can avoid doing to keep them under a heating pad.   Definitely makes typing difficult.  Ha.

Lydia © 2018 Mike Sullivan

Any time I touch something cold, both hands are immediately cold.  When I stand on my feet, they become immediately cold.  I wear two pair of socks and my memory foam shoes.  I guess it's just my current process.  It's what I have to do.

I'm not totally sure where this blog-post is going.  My  mind isn't very focused.  Maybe I'll do some drawing.  I really need to make that a habit.

Here is s character design for one of my graphic novels.  Her name is Lydia, if I don't change it to a color-name.  She's the queen of a human-offshoot race.  Her husband, the king, will be named Indygo. 

The Dream Today During My Nap

I had to lay down, as I do most days, for a nap.   The pain was bad.  Anyway, for the hour I was down, I did fall asleep and actually had a dream.

In it, I lived in a big, old, multi-story house.  Some big men broke into my house and threatened me.  In the dream, I knew who the men were, but I don't really know anyone like them.  They were big men, long hair, scruffy beards.  They thought that I knew something that they wanted.  Some information of some kind.  I'm not sure what, but something.

My cat, Buff, was there and was hiding.  I was glad he was hiding because I didn't know what these guys would do.  There were, at first, three of them.  Then, two, and finally just the one doing most of the talking.  He threatened to break my cell phone (I don't have a working cell phone) and I told him I didn't care if he did.  It wasn't important to me although in the dream my father had given it to me, so it had sentimental value and I didn't want him to break it.

I somehow lured him out of the house, onto the porch.  The big house had one of those big wrap-around porches with the railing and big steps to the front.  I looked over the railing to the side and my cat, Tomas, was there, playing in a box next to some flowers.  I was so happy to see him (Tomas died last year,  March, 2017). 

I didn't want the big, bad man to get him, so I jumped over the railing and got Tomas.  I had him in my arms and brushed the leaves off of his fur.  I held him to me and then woke up from the dream.

Buff was laying next to me.  I startled him awake and he came up to me.  I pet him and talked to him.  I was glad he was with me. 

But the dream still made me sad.  It's funny what dreams come to you.

The Return

It's been a while since I posted. Many things have happened and not many were what I consider good. I'm still in pain and it has, of course, increased. One of the reasons I stopped posting about my pain was in reaction to the reaction I was getting. 

My intention was merely to inform people of where I was and how I was feeling. Hoping to connect with others that might have similar symptoms and no relief. It seemed to upset more of the people that I care for. I haven't found a doctor. I don't know where to go to do that in our country. Medicine is a money-making capitalistic endeavor. I don't have money. I can't afford to waste what little I have searching for a doctor that will ... doctor. So I'm left to my own research. 

I think blogging about it is helpful for me. So, I've decided to try it out again, hoping that people will understand and not freak out.